Give Me My Damn Pulitzer!

So right now I'm taking a break from writing. I'm been using this fancy notebook Elsa got me in Italy. It's really nice. It has a shiny leather cover and everything. Apparently it's the same type of notebook Ernest Hemingway and other famous writers used. Which of course totally explains why I'm using it. Hemingway used this notebook to write "The Old Man and the Sea". I'm using it to write the world's most intelligent dick joke. Yeah I see the similarities.

Last night I performed at Westport. My set was ok, not great. It was one of those nights where I had fun, but the audience didn't. It reminded me of the first time I had sex. During it, I'm smiling and having a great time. Meanwhile the girl I was with had that expression of "Why won't my old boyfriend call me back?" Tonight I performed at the Comedy Forum. There were six people in the audience. Enough said.

About my recent Boston trip, Elsa and I had a blast. While she was shooting the Women's Final Four, I checked out the Comedy Vault and Comedy Connection. Both are really nice clubs. Every comic I saw did smart, funny stuff. It renewed my faith in stand-up. The highlight of the trip was the media party on Saturday. It was held at Fenway Park. It was great. Elsa and I hung out in the dugout, walked along the Green Monster and got to go in the batting cages. If that wasn't cool enough, there was free beer. Enough said.

Next Thursday is the finals at the Forum. After that, it's off to Tampa where I'll be working a week at the Improv. I'll be opening up for John Heffron.

Now I got to go. I just had a breakthrough with my dick joke. It involves a midget. Beat that Ernest! Who my bitch?!